


Outside His Expertise

by WhyNotFly



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Mild Angst, Missing Scene, Set During Season Three, and the beginnings of feelings for jon, canon adjacent level of potentially one-sided crush, on Martin's end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyNotFly/pseuds/WhyNotFly
Summary: “I was just thinking how I don’t, um.  I didn’t know Sasha’s birthday.  Because she was in, um, she was in artifact storage not research so we didn’t have any of those little office parties for her and I didn’t get a chance to celebrate here and…” Martin hunches his broad shoulders in and tucks his hands deep between his thighs.“And you don’t want to look it up,” Jon finishes for him.  “In case it’s not real.”
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 88





	Outside His Expertise

“Can I ask you something?”

Jon looks up from the papers spread across his desk, blinking until his eyes refocus in the dim light of his office. When had it gotten so dark? He shoots an accusatory glance at his desk lamp, and then looks finally over to where Martin stands, fiddling his thumbs in his doorway. Jon runs a hand up over his face, pushing his hair haphazardly back, and with his other gestures Martin inside.

“Right, well,” Martin scurries across the room and plops down in the chair across from Jon. “I was just wondering when your birthday is.”

Jon blinks again. What is it about Martin that always makes Jon remember exactly how tired he is? Probably the brainspace he’s forced to devote to his inane questions. Don’t they have more important things to concern themselves with?

Jon heaves a heavy sigh. “Martin—”

“It’s dumb, of course. You’re right. It was dumb. We have more important things to work on. I was just thinking…” Martin trails off. “I was just thinking how I don’t, um. I didn’t know Sasha’s birthday. Because she was in, um, she was in artifact storage not research so we didn’t have any of those little office parties for her and I didn’t get a chance to celebrate here and…” Martin hunches his broad shoulders in and tucks his hands deep between his thighs.

“And you don’t want to look it up,” Jon finishes for him. “In case it’s not real.”

“Which is dumb because that’s not even what it does. It replaces pictures. It’s not going to...to make up a whole fake employee file.” Something breaks in the edge of Martin’s voice. “But I wouldn’t even notice if it had. Because I never knew it. I didn’t even know her real birthday.”

“Martin…” Jon says, but he cuts himself off because he has no idea what to say. Jon isn’t built for this. Comforting people. Emotions in general. It’s outside of his expertise. A cruel and awful part of him is hoping that Martin will get embarrassed over breaking down in front of his boss and will excuse himself so quickly that Jon couldn’t be expected to stop him. Jon shoves that down and stands, circling around his desk so that he can pat Martin awkwardly on the shoulder.

“Martin, you’re a very...you’re a nice person.” Even Jon cringes at his words. Martin draws in a ragged breath that is barely not a sob. Jon gives his shoulder another pat for good measure. “I mean, you’re certainly the nicest person in this office.”

Martin’s shoulders are shaking just a bit and Jon puts his hand down again and leaves it there. To steady him. He’s so warm. How can he stand to wear all those thick jumpers when he runs so warm? They are soft though. Jon rubs his thumb up and back just a bit. To appreciate the jumper, that is.

“It wasn’t your fault,” says Jon.

“I know,” says Martin. “But that doesn’t really make it better, does it?”

“No. I suppose it doesn’t.”

Jon slides his hand to the broad expanse of Martin’s hunched back and averts his eyes politely while Martin struggles to pull himself back together. He should be doing more. He should be able to do more. Jon stares at the splotchy patches of red rising on the back of Martin’s neck and tries to remember if, in the chaos of everything that had happened, he’d ever cried for Sasha.

“We couldn’t do it without you, you know,” Jon says, after Martin’s sniffles have subsided somewhat. “Any of it. I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

“Sure.” Martin laughs, small and hurt. “That’s why you’re always complaining.”

Jon feels hot shame twist in his stomach and he looks away. “I’m not very good at feeling things. About people.”

“I don’t like you being out there,” Martin says. “I don’t like not knowing if you’ll come back. I don’t like not knowing if I’ll even realize that you didn’t come back.”

Jon pulls his hand away and grips his elbow, curling in on himself. Released from the weight of his hand, Martin stands and turns to face Jon. He is so tall, but his eyes are red and tired. Jon had never seen Martin look so tired.

“May third.” Jon nods sharply, once.

“What?”

“My, er, my birthday. It’s May third.”

Martin scrubs a hand over his eyes and smiles one of his heartbreakingly bright smiles. It’s like the sun coming through clouds, it’s like the swell of sudden music, it’s like a warm drink pressed into your hands on a cold day. Jon feels something in his stomach that he cannot process and doesn’t want to process. He won’t think about it. Not tonight. 

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this forever ago on my tumblr ([@apatheticbutterflies](https://apatheticbutterflies.tumblr.com/) come hang out with me I'm cool) but I'm trying to get things organized before the new year, so I'm posting some of my longer, slightly better written story fragments on ao3! Hope you enjoyed this one :)


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